Republic of Heroes
Table of Contents
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74 Chapter 75 Chapter 76 Chapter 77 Chapter 78 Chapter 79 END ExtraChapter 44
"I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore."
It's been a week since he has been in this claustrophobic room comprised of nothing but painted white, along with his malnourished and bony form tied down to this single platform, his only source of comfort in his current predicament. Carter has already lost track of days, being kept in this lonely cell with the only source of light coming from the ceiling above.
Broken, humiliated, and damaged, the only thing he can do is repeat those words again and again until they become his only solace in a world that wants nothing more than to see him suffer and be broken. This is his punishment for existing: to be tortured and toyed with for whatever sadistic reason his captors had planned for him.
He can stand up and move around; he can do something at least to ease this insanity, but he wouldn't because nothing would come out of it, and he knows that well enough. Carter wouldn't even be surprised if his mind had already given out by this point, completely crushed after being in here for what seems like ages now.
His whole body was shaking as he continuously stared down at his own feet with pure despair and sadness written on his pale face. "I can't do this anymore," he mumbled with shaky lips. Closing his eyes for a moment and opening them back up, tears of water rolling down his cheeks.
Having starved himself from the lack of food and water that he'd been going through, he was slowly losing his sanity and control. Just as he was about to reach his breaking point, the only sounds that occupied him were the laughter and insults from the voices inside his head.
"Hahahahaha!" Laughter erupted around him, followed by mocking tones that echoed in his mind: "You're nothing but a fool who doesn't understand his place in the world." One of them told him with an arrogant attitude, adding more salt to his already wounded heart.
Carter has nothing else to say; he has no reason to argue or prove anyone of them wrong because he knows he's the one at fault for being alive. He wondered why he needed to keep on living and going forward when nothing but misery and torment awaited him, but he didn't do anything and stayed quiet, not having the courage to do so.
Another voice entered, malevolent in tone: "Die, die, die!" His inner voice is filled with rage, with hatred, and with utter contempt for seeing this pitiful man, disgusted and even disappointed, continuing its hurtful remarks in the attempt to push Carter over the edge.
Many voices spoke to him, some in gibberish and others downright disturbing. Carter can hear all of them, listening to everything and being a victim of the cruel mockery, but he still can't find it in himself to speak back at them because there is nothing else to speak of.
"You'll never love again," an elderly man's voice joined in, cold and sadistic in nature, "because no one loves a loser like you who can't even do things for himself, leaving your friends and loved ones behind," delighted by the agony that was revealed to them, "how would Eve see you like this after learning her beloved husband left their child to fend all for themselves?"
Painful memories flashed within his mind; images of those who meant dear to him flashed before his eyes—the time when he was Adam, raised and hurt by everyone around him. Having strive so hard in trying to become happy only leading to further tragedy.
In the end, he still lost many of his lovers and the friends he made, leaving his daughter alone in that horrible world. Everything is his fault; all of it was because he was terrified of experiencing that same suffering again after what happened throughout that lifetime.
"Shut up!" Gritting his teeth, Carter felt the tears roll down his cheeks. "All of you shut up! Please...just leave me alone," his eyes closed tightly with his bony fingers digging into his face, cutting himself with his fingernails in the process, "please, just shut up already!"
But as he begged, their words grew louder and more hateful as he continued to listen in, each one of them vowing to never end his misery until he no longer existed. He could feel his mind cracking the more they talked and berated him; he wanted to cry and scream out in anger, but there was nothing else left.
In addition to the continuous laughter and voices insulting him, Carter wondered to himself countless times why he must suffer through this endless nightmare, wondering what the purpose of living his life in the first place was for being here.
"Everything hurts, doesn't it, Adam?"
When a feminine voice spoke, all of the voices in his head immediately stopped in unison while he felt the presence of another person in this very tight white room, causing him to remove his bloody nails from his face, leaving behind bloody marks and tiny cuts on his skin, and immediately lift his head in shock.
Leaning over him was a monster or demon taking the form of a skinny woman around her early twenties with unusual black skin, long red hair, pointy ears, glowing red eyes, a black collar, and a black shoulder-length cloak, along with a gauntlet on her left arm. Her delighted grin at Carter as she eyed him with amusement, finding the sight of him amusing.
"Adam, no, Randolph Carter," she corrected herself as her bright eyes met with his own dull brown pupils, "it is time for you to laugh with us," her soft voice called out to him, soothing in manner but ominous and threatening at the same time, "what do you say? Won't you join us in this madness of yours?"
Carter couldn't believe what he was seeing; even if he knew she wasn't real or merely a figment of his own imagination, he was more terrified of actually seeing this thing resembling Lilith. "W-w-what are you?" He stuttered, his voice cracked, and his expression turned fearful of seeing her.
"Stay the hell away from me!"
Tears fell out of his eyes with fear and confusion, unable to move from the overwhelming emotions inside him.
Giggling, she then stood up straight and said, "We are Legion." The voice of the demonic woman was joined by many others that were identical to her, making the atmosphere around him to turn colder with dread creeping in every direction. "Many, many are we, and the more of us that exist, the stronger we grow in numbers."
Her wide eyes stared right back at him with fascination: "We are you and you are us." The devilish grin on her face grew larger than ever as she laughed in excitement: "There is no escape in this hell." Her words were only met with silence when Carter fell into despair, losing all hope in trying to fight back.
There's no hope of someone ever going to save you," she cackled while walking around Carter's frightened form, her eyes locked onto his shivering body. "Because you're pathetic, stupid, useless, selfish, and a loser that no one will ever care for," she said to him, getting closer to him by the second. "So go on, give up, accept that you will never escape this prison of yours, and join us in the wonderful eternity of chaos and madness."
And then he snapped.
She was right about all of that; he is nothing but a coward who cannot do anything at all. A failure of a human being who isn't worth anything to anyone, the loneliness he had felt from being stuck in here made him realize that he truly has no place anywhere in this world except to rot away in complete isolation; maybe that's his true destiny after all.
But he wants to live; he wants to live so badly because he believes there's still a purpose in his life, even though he may not see it yet. He won't just let himself stay here forever. That's why he is going to fight back against those who oppress him and will do whatever it takes to get back up, no matter what.
"No," a single tear rolled down on his cheek as he gritted his teeth while shaking his head with a furious expression, "I'm not...a loser. I won't let myself be defeated by you or anyone else," his eyes met the horrifying creature, glaring back at him as she expected nothing more than compliance from him, "you can all go to hell for all I care! I'm not letting you get what you want; I'm not accepting any of this crap!"
He was not afraid anymore, standing up with his own two feet despite his form shaking uncontrollably from exhaustion and starvation. Determined to not be weak and submit at the likes of them, "Get out of my head, or whatever the hell you are. You will never have control over me because I know I'm strong," he exclaimed to himself and to them, showing that he is capable of resisting these voices in his head.
A frown appeared on her face before erupting into laughter; her mouth opened wide enough that it revealed a row of razor-sharp fangs. "Do not play games with us, Adam. We know all of your sins; we know everything about you and what you truly desire deep down." Her words left him shocked and terrified. "Admit it, you want to disappear, don't you? Because that will be the only way for you to ever be free of this imprisonment and eternal suffering," she said, extending her arms wide open, revealing to him his worst fears that he is too cowardly to admit.
And yet, Carter shook his head with resolution in his eyes: "I'm better than that; I know what is right from what is wrong, and that's to stay true to yourself, even if the whole world is against you."
His answer was enough to make her snarl at him as he continued onward: "Even when my life is full of shit, I still don't want to change. I don't want to forget the people I loved, the life I lived, and the lessons that I learned throughout that lifetime." The words were spoken with such confidence and conviction that they sent shivers throughout the Legion, as if the sheer force of it all was enough to break them apart.
However, Legion seemingly smiled at this sudden act of defiance, having expected of him in doing this. "We cannot be beaten, because you can never beat yourself," she chuckled and grinned, revealing her rows of razor-sharp fangs once more, "in the end, there will always be a part of you that craves escape, no matter how small it may be."
Raising his hands, he stared down at his opened palms; bony and bruised, he clenched his shaky fists with determination in his heart, "then I guess there's no other way but to continue defying you until none of you are left." His gaze met hers, looking straight into his soul with that one piercing crimson eye of hers, "don't you get it?" Baring his teeth in anger.
"I'm just me."
Muttering to himself as he lowered his arms and took a step forward, "and that's all I need to be who I really am. So no matter how hard you try, no matter what lies or truths you tell me, I will not lose control over my own self!" Carter proclaimed having to face his own inner demons, speaking in his mind in order to remind himself of what he truly desires.
Upon hearing this declaration, Legion suddenly embraced him, their flesh slowly melting together while the voices returned in his head, telling him how he would never succeed and that his attempts at trying to find his purpose were meaningless. But Carter would not falter, fighting back with tooth and nail, refusing to give up no matter how much they tried to break him down.
The cries of infants in the background, cackling laughter throbbing his entire skull, yelling, and shrieks of horror rang through his eardrums. Tormenting him further into madness and despair, the mental anguish that taunts him relentlessly makes the struggle harder to hold on.
The mental pain of these monsters becomes worse and worse every waking moment.
For some unknown reason, they found joy and ecstasy in his misery. It was like they were feeding off of his negativity, drinking his tears of sorrow, and drawing energy from his suffering. Yet even though he hated what they did to him, Carter understood that this was a mental disorder he had.
And mental disorders can be managed.
When her entire body was absorbed, his perception quickly changed drastically; seeing everything around him distorted and twisted like a surreal painting, forcing him to walk forward as a sign of defiance, fighting against the sickening forces of mother nature itself.
Continuing this ceaseless walk, he notices the shifting white walls around him begin to sprout eyes and mouths; voices of people he once knew speak to him in mocking manners with a sense of hostility, making him question himself if they are really them.
His head swung back and forth, smiling insanely with his eyes twitching uncontrollably. Before long, the floor morphed into the corpses of those he betrayed, left, and failed to protect, screaming out in agony as he stepped on them, blood pouring out from their wounds, and drenching his feet in warm crimson liquid.
He moves closer and closer to nowhere, eventually finding himself staring at the reflection of himself in the mirror. With a broken smile on his face, he saw his reflection move in the opposite direction he is currently facing, making it clear he has lost himself in the illusionary realm.
Carter can also see people he cared for and loved dying flash before him, making the mirror itself act as a gateway that transports him through flashing memories of the past, reliving his actions at the worst moments of his life.
Screaming in panic from the frantic images appearing in his head, he finally snapped once again and punched the glass with force strong enough to shatter the mirror, but it remained intact as he screamed out loud, unable to stop the delusions inside his mind.
Tears and sweat trickled down on his frightening, maddened face from having to experience those terrible memories. Even though this was nothing more than hallucinations created by those monsters, it is still something he never wants to remember.
He kept punching, screaming, and even using his nails to destroy the mirror, but to no avail, until he eventually grew exhausted and fell to his knees, unable to continue this futile struggle, before standing up and slamming his head into the mirror, continuing to strike until he was sure the mental barrier would eventually shatter into pieces completely.
Blood profusely ran out from his forehead, dripping all over his face, before he dropped back to the ground, gasping for air while his body lay motionless for several seconds, trembling at his failure to break it down with his own bare hands.
Peculiar laughter erupted from behind, causing Carter to stand up again and turn to see an impending dark, yellowish cloud of smoke moving towards his direction, slowly consuming the whole place itself as it grew closer to him before consuming him whole.
For a moment, he thought he was gone. Unable to see anything but his own blood dripping down from his forehead, the thick smog completely engulfed him from all sides, rendering him almost blind and helpless, trapped with no hope of escaping.
But as he was about to succumb to the allure of oblivion, Carter heard a mysterious voice call out to him instead of a normal sentence or greeting; it was simply laughter, the same cackling and maddening one like the rest of those voices in his head.
What stood before him was a strange creature, oddly and surreal-looking as it continued to stare at Carter with that never-ending laughter, making it clear that there is something seriously wrong with this thing. Before he could make sense of anything else, he immediately noticed the creature's laughter was directed at him, finding this whole ordeal funny.
At first, he was prepared to fight or flee from it, but the longer they remain here, the more realization dawns in him, causing poor Carter to start snorting and then giggling at the absurdity of his current predicament, which soon escalates to full-blown laughter, laughing like he never had before, even more manically than the creature itself.
He understands why this thing found him funny in the first place because everything is ridiculous and absolutely crazy as his sanity begins slipping away and the lines of what is real and fake continue to blur the more he laughs.
The only thing he remembers is their conjoined laughter echoing throughout this infinite realm of nightmares before his very own world tumbled down to utter darkness, bringing a peaceful end to the maddening insanity that threatened to consume his mind entirely.
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